I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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