I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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