Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
