theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
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