at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
