dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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