dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
