super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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