Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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