i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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