i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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