I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i believe in u and ur pee
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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