he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize