just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just invented taco cereal.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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