the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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