when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
