are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
