idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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