Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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