dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
