He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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