Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
