youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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