Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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