Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
