he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
