so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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