I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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