The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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