I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
