these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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