Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
