Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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