Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
