You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
