dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
