Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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