TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
