Farmville is her only friend.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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