It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
