I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize