All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
