All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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