I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
