He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
