you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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