he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
