stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
