i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize