If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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