Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
