Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
