I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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