you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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