I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
