nut hugger
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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