I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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