that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
