Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
