It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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