sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
